Elevator Music
by alexsonnn
Summary: Tom and our favorite assassin stuck in confined space for an extended period of time? Great. One-shot. Plot holes galore but this story is purely meant for comedic entertainment. Enjoy!


"I can not believe this." Alex muttered for what seemed like the millionth time.

"What do you think they want? They actually assured that this wasn't for a mission?" Tom asked.

They very quickly made their way to the bank in the slow drizzle of rain. MI6 had called right as school let out. They assured Alex that it had nothing to do with a mission but both the teens had their doubts.

Alex turned to Tom as they approached the entrance.

"Alright, wait here. I'll be out as soon as I can."

"Wait? In this cold rain? What am I? The stray dog following you home? No way. I'm coming too." Tom replied as he bounded up the stairs and into the bank.

"Tom! They're not going to like it if I bring a friend along. They probably won't even let you passed the waiting area." Alex said uncertainly. He had got enough people caught up in this he didn't want Tom in it anymore than he already was.

"Ah, come on, mate. Live a little. What's the worse that could happen?"

"They could decide you know too much and ship you off to some remote location to live out the rest of your life as a farmer. Or they could just kill you."

"Wow, I'm sorry I asked." Tom replied as he made no move to retrace his steps out of the bank. He was already in. No going back now.

Instead, he bounded right up to the receptionist and put on a cheerful smile.

"Hiya! The name's Harris. Tom Harris. I'm here for the Avenger's Iniative."

"Wrong agency, Tommy." Alex said as he shouldered his friend out of the way to peer dully at the woman.

"I'm Alex Rider. I'm here to see Blunt or Jones."

"Ah, yes. Mr. Rider, Mrs. Jones has already alerted me that you were on your way. If you'll remain in the waiting area someone will be right down to retrieve you. Although, she didn't mention you, Mr. Harris. You may be required to wait here." The lady replied as she stood and turned her back to them before Tom could even reply.

"Told you." Alex said as he walked to a nearby window and peered out. Looking from this window he could see the exact spot where he had been shot. He could even see a dark stain from where he assumed his blood had pooled.

Tom could see his friend's face and knew he needed to pull him out of his thoughts.

"So, do you think they're calling you in for all the back pay for all these misions they've sent you on? Bet that would be quite a bit of money. You could buy your best friend a car. What even is the salary of a spy?"

"We pay the qualified MI6 agent very generously, Mr. Harris. Alex, I thought we discussed how we feel about you bringing your friends in with you when you brought Sabina here the last time." Came Mrs. Jones tone from behind them as she approached.

That, of course, caused Tom to gasp dramatically.

"You brought _Sabina_ in here before me?"

Alex shrugged.

"To be fair, she knew about this before you did." He answered.

"Still haven't forgiven you for that little fact." Tom muttered.

Mrs. Jones cleared her throat to bring the bickering boys back to the situation at hand.

Alex sighed.

"Look, I told him not to come in. He didn't listen. But I'm gonna be honest with you. If you leave him here he's liable to cause more trouble alone than he would just tagging along." Alex informed. Which was true. Tom could be just as destructive as Alex when he was bored.

Jones seemed to consider this for a moment. Then she peered firmly at the brunette.

"I suppose we do need to get you to come and sign the Official Secrets Act. Come along you two." She said decisively and motioned for them to lead the way to the elevator.

Tom gave Alex an over enthusiastic thumbs up before they both made their way to the lift.

The two teens waited awkwardly behind the woman as they waited for the elevator to take them to their desired floor. The look on Alex's face was one of misery and Tom couldn't help but feel a wave of anger at the lady in front of him.

He waited until the elevator doors opened and they began walking down a hallway.

"So, how shitty are your employees that you have to blackmail a teenager just to get something done?" Tom asked casually.

Jones cut her eyes to the boy and Alex groaned loudly behind them.

"Tom, shut up. Now."

"Mr. Harris, you're lucky you've made it as far into this building as you have. I suggest you keep your thoughts to yourself for the remainder of your time here."

"They're that bad, huh?" Tom replied with a sarcastic wince.

Alex then took his cue to sufficiently shut him up by elbowing the boy in the ribs as they approached Alan Blunt's office. Jones opened the door and motioned for the two of them to walk into the room.

Tom entered first and noticed an older man sitting at the desk with a younger man sitting across from him. It didn't seem too out of sorts until he heard Alex take a sharp intake of breath behind him as he entered behind him.

"What the hell is this?" Alex demanded in such a tone that had Tom jumping in surprise.

"Now, Alex. Calm down. We need to talk."

"No, we don't. We need to show me and my friend back out. I want no part of this."

"What's going on, Alex?" Tom knew his friend was already agitated about being here in the first place but he could tell Alex wasn't fond of the man sitting across from the older man who Tom assumed was Alan Blunt by the way he was glaring a hole through the guy.

"Nothing, Tom. Be quiet." Alex ordered, causing his friend to bristle at the tone.

"Hey, don't take your anger for Mr. Broody over there out on me."

The man's eyebrows quirked up in near amusement at the mention of himself.

"My name is Yassen." He put in helpfully.

"Stop talking to him." Alex snarled while Tom gasped dramatically beside him.

"Yassen _Gregorovich_? Mate, you're an assassin." Harris stated dumbly.

Yassen nodded indulgingly and smirked at how the brown haired boy took a subtle step behind Alex for protection.

"That is correct, Mr. Harris." Blunt replied boredly.

Tom's eyes widened considerably at the admission before turning to Alex.

"I think I should have waited outside in the rain." He stage whispered.

"Yeah, maybe next time you'll listen to what I tell you."

"Don't you dare lecture me while I'm standing in the same room with someone who probably has more kills in real life than I do on Call of Duty, Rider."

"Relax, alright? He's not going to kill you." Alex attempted to soothe.

"I thought you said he was _dead._ "

"Apparently not and I guess I got to be left out of that little secret too." Alex replied aiming an unamused glare at Blunt and Jones. But Alex couldn't bring himself to be too surprised. Of course the man who caused his whole life to go to Hell got a free pass while the people he desperately wanted to resurrect were still gone.

"It wasn't something for you to concern yourself with, Alex." Mrs. Jones answered.

"But it is my concern now? What's changed?"

Blunt sighed.

"It was not our idea. It was Mr. Gregorovich's. He's requested to talk to you before we send him into protection. He's agreed to give us information on various people he's worked for over the years. Including SCORPIA. And in return we are going to assist him in 'retiring' so to speak."

"You're going to _help_ him retire? You're going to allow the man who's killed innocent people as well as my uncle to just live out the rest of his miserable life in peace?"

Tom stared in dismay at his friend.

"We can't deny what he's done in the past but what he knows can help save future lives, Alex. You have to see the big picture here."

"No, I don't." Alex said to the two MI6 heads before turning to Yassen.

"And as for you...I don't care what you have to say. Do not contact me again. You do, and I'm going to do everything in my power to finish what I started on that boat in France. Now if someone doesn't show Tom and myself out we're going to find our own way." Alex said as he turned and laid his hand on the door knob.

"I'll show them out." Yassen said to Jones as she stood up to let the boys leave.

Jones looked to Blunt questioningly who in turn shrugged.

"He can't get in anywhere without an access code and I'll have an eye on him the entire time." Blunt said to her as he clicked a remote and security cameras appeared from many angles in the building onto a flatscreen television.

"Go ahead." Jones finally said to Yassen who stood up and looked at Alex as if he was daring him to complain.

Alex rolled his eyes but threw the door open and motioned for Yassen to lead the way. There was no way he was going to walk with the man behind him and his friend. Blunt and Jones may be dumb enough to allow the man to wander about the building but he refused to trust him.

Outside lightening lit up the sky and thunder rolled boomingly.

If Tom was nervous before he was downright terrified as he followed the assassin to what he hoped wouldn't be his death.

They were silent until they reached the elevator. Yassen punched the down button and Alex huffed out a laugh.

"I don't think so." He said looking pointedly at the man.

"What do you mean 'you don't think so?' How else do you want to get out of the building?" Tom asked disbelievingly.

"Stairs. I doubt Oliver D'Arc's stories have changed much since your time in training. I heard the story about Israeli Agent dying at the hands of Al Qaeda in an elevator myself. Stairs or nothing." Alex replied firmly.

Lightening struck again and a moment later thunder was roaring loudly.

Yassen looked at Alex with something of admiration.

"As glad as I am to see that you pay attention in class I haven't a clue as to where the stairs are. We are being watched by Blunt if I was to kill you here I wouldn't make it out of the building alive. Now come on, Alex." The man said as he gestured into the elevator as it dinged opened.

"He has a point." Tom stated as he made a decision and walked slowly to the elevator. At this point all the boy wanted to do was leave the building.

Which left Alex and Yassen in a stand off.

There was a moment of defiance but eventually Alex nodded to the inside of the lift.

"You first." He ordered.

Yassen gave him another approving look before he stepped backwards into the elevator.

Then it happened. The power went out leaving Alex in darkness at the same time the elevator door closed silently before the boy could react.

"Tom!"

It was muffled but Alex could still hear his friend's panicked answer beyond the door.

"Okay, Alex! You win! We should've taken the stairs!"

 **~One Hour Stuck in the Elevator~**

"It's just a question."

"A dumb question."

"Still a question, mate."

"Tom, if you want to live to see your friend again I'm going to have to ask that you remain silent until we are rescued."

This had been the way the conversations have been going on for the past hour. Tom Harris stuck in a hot and dark elevator with a trained assassin.

"You still haven't answered my question."

"I don't have an answer."

"Everyone has an answer."

"I don't."

"You're honestly telling me you don't have a favorite color."

"Yes."

"I refuse to accept that."

Yassen let out a heavy sigh as he glared a hole at the door of the lift.

 **~Two hours stuck in the elevator~**

"Okay, fuck, marry, kill...Emma Stone, Emma Watson, and that bird that plays Cersei Lannister on Game of Thrones."

"No."

"That's not- _oh._ Okay. I got it. No problem. Fuck, Marry, Kill...Chris Evans, Brad Pitt, or that bloke who plays _Robb Stark_ on Game of Thrones." Tom amended.

"No." Yassen answered a bit more forcefully.

"...Are you not answering because you don't know how to play or because you don't know who the people are? Because I can google the names for you."

"No."

"Then _what_ do you propose we do until we get out of here?" Tom asked, finally irritated.

"We sit here quietly." Yassen replied.

"Mate, I've been cooped up in school all day and I had two candy bars before I got here. 'Quietly' isn't an option."

"It will be if you find yourself unconscious."

"...See that's just rude."

 **~ One and a half hours stuck in the elevator~**

Tom smiled smugly as the Mission Impossible theme song began to ring from his mobile phone in his pocket. He chose to ignore the pointed look Yassen was giving him and his phone.

"Tom's super secret club house. What's the password?" The boy answered more cheerfully than he felt.

"You haven't gotten yourself shot yet have you?" Came Alex's first question.

"Not yet. Did you know Yassen has no favorite color? And that he doesn't even watch Game of Thrones?"

"Tom, please don't annoy him. If he kills you I'm more than likely going to die trying to repay the favor. And I don't wanna die quite yet."

"I'm so happy to hear that you're willing to die to defend my honor, mate."

"Tom..."

"Relax. He'll barely talk to me anyway. He's surprisingly a really boring person despite his job description." Tom replied casting a sideways glance to the man beside him who had his eyes closed and appeared to be meditating.

"Listen, Blunt will have the elevator running soon. Don't worry and don't cause any trouble."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bye! Yassen sends his love." Tom said as he hung up, which caused the assassin to finally open his eyes.

"Have you known Alex long?" Yassen questioned.

"Of course. Since we were young. He stopped a bunch of bullies from beating the shit out of me when we were younger. Ever since then we've been besties. Did you have a best friend growing up?"

Yassen was silent.

"Oh, come on. This is very one sided. I answered yours. You answer mine. That's how a conversation works." Tom objected.

Yassen was quiet for a moment more before he turned to the teen.

"Yes, I did. He was a lot like you in a way."

"Awesome?"

"Irritating."

Tom glared at the man.

"Are you still friends with him?"

"No." Was the man's only answer and even Tom recognized that it was time to drop the subject.

 **~ Half an hour later~**

"Alex's version of 'soon' sure is taking a long time."

"I'm sure he's doing all he can." Yassen offered.

"Can you run out of air in a elevator?" Tom suddenly asked panicked.

"No. We'll be fine."

"We can starve though. I'm hungry."

"You said you ate candy before you got here."

"Yeah, but that was forever ago. I bet if I ordered a pizza it would get here quicker than MI6 would."

Yassen smirked.

"You do not like them."

Tom's expression turned dark.

"They're hurting my best friend."

"He could just tell them no."

Tom barked out a laugh.

"Could he? That easy, huh? Blunt's threatened to throw him into a orphanage and ship Jack back to America. He's doing what he has to so he can keep some semblence of his life in tact. Don't talk about what you don't know Mr. Killer Guy."

Yassen was mildly impressed by the teen's boldness considering his earlier fear.

There was another round of silence this time somewhat comfortable as an unspoken truce was formed. One thing was certain. Both killer and teenager had loyalty to the Rider family.

 **~ Forty five minutes later~**

"And _then_ -"

" _Tom._ " Yassen interrupted the boy as he retold at great length how his past relationships had ended.

"Yes?"

Yassen wished for the millionth time that it had been Alex that had been stuck in here with him. He'd take an angry glaring teenager over this chatty hyper active one any day.

"You share too much." He finally answered the boy.

"And you too little. If it wasn't for me this entire adventure would have been a complete bore. You're welcome."

"I wouldn't call sitting in an elevator waiting to be rescued quite an adventure."

"Not all of us can have a secret spy life uncovered at fourteen. I'll take my mediocre and relatively safe adventures where I can get them." Tom defended.

"I suppose that's-"

"What is it you want to talk to Alex about?" Tom asked suddenly.

"Excuse me?"

"Blunt said that you wanted to talk to Alex before they helped you retire. What was it you wanted to say to him? Because the last time you told him something he and I ended up crashing a SCORPIA party and then he disappeared for a couple weeks only to return with a bullet tearing through his chest."

Yassen ignored the accusatory tone.

"I believe that's between Alex and myself."

Tom laughed.

"And me as soon as we get back to his house. What part of best friend don't you understand? He tells me every thing...well not entirely everything. Not enough for me to be useful to any asshole trying to kidnap me for information about him."

Yassen considered the boy sitting across the elevator from him before closing his eyes and answering some of the boy's question.

"Blunt told him one of the reasons I was helping MI6 was to get myself away from SCORPIA. Which is true but not the full extent of my conditions."

"What is the full extent?"

"Alex can tell you after we get out of this wretched elevator I suppose."

It was in that moment that Tom realized that Yassen was actually trying to kill him. This man was trying to bore him to death and was very near doing just that.

But Tom Harris was determined to go down fighting.

"So... is it true you used to have a thing for Alex's dad?"

 **~Twenty minutes later~**

"How much longer?" Alex asked Smithers for the billionth time.

"The lift should be working it's way down the the ground now, lad. Not to worry. I'm sure your friend is fine. It takes a lot to set an assassin off. Their emotions are all deeply repressed." The man assured the boy.

"You don't know the kid he's stuck in the lift with, Mr. Smithers. Tom could make a statue roll it's eyes in annoyance."

Smithers laughed.

"Well, it looks like we're about to find out." He said as he gestured to the slowing descending numbers above the lift door signalling the elevator was finally moving down.

Alex waited impatiently and as soon as the doors dinged open a familiar blur of his best friend darted out and rugby tackled him to the ground.

"Tom!" Alex complained.

"Alex! Thank god it was horrible. I didn't think it was possible to find anyone that talked less than you. Let me tell you you're a bloody chatty Kathy compared to Yassy over there." Tom said as he stood up and pulled Alex with him.

The boy looked over to the man in question. The poor guy looked like he had a headache by the way his forehead was creased. Alex almost felt bad for him. Almost.

"Oh, and Yassen still wants to talk to you. I don't think it'd hurt for you to hear him out, Allie."

"You don't know him like I do, Tommy." Alex replied, using the nickname he knew Tom hated. Tom knew he hated it when he called him Allie.

"I just spent half a day stuck in the lift with the man and lived to tell the tale. Just hear what he has to say." Tom said giving the boy a push towards Yassen who had also exited the elevator and was talking quietly with Smithers.

Alex sighed and approached the man.

"Thank you for not killing Tom. I know he can be...trying."

Yassen smirked.

"Trying is putting it nicely. He does seem to care for you though. You have a good friend." He replied.

"Yeah, but a really bad judge of character. He says I should hear what you have to say."

Yassen was mildly grateful to the annoying little brat.

"I do want to apologize for what I put you through. I wasn't thinking clearly when I sent you to SCORPIA. Must've been the blood loss. But Blunt seemed to leave off one of my conditions I had for helping him and MI6 out though. A condition that has a lot to do with you."

"What?" Alex asked warily.

"I told him that I would help him with whatever he wanted and in exchange he would leave you alone. For good. MI6 is no longer your guardian. That right is now Jack Starbright's. And should Alan Blunt ever try or blackmail you ever again you just need to call this number." Yassen stated as he handed a phone number to a dumbstruck Alex Rider.

"If they give you any trouble be it money, guardianship, or missions you call me and I'll tear down every agreement Alan Blunt and myself made. Got it?" He said when Alex didn't reply.

"Why are you doing this?" Alex finally asked.

"I had a hand in getting you into this mess. And I clean up my messes."

" _Awwwwwww!_ See, Alex? And you called him a cold hearted bastard!" Came Tom's cooing as he eavesdropped on the whole conversation.

"He's just a big ol' softy, aren't you, Yassy." Tom said clapping the man on his shoulder.

"Don't call me that." Yassen warned.

"Now don't go getting cranky you and I were really hitting it off in that lift."

"You're lucky he didn't hit _you_ off, Tom. C'mon let's go before something else happens." Alex replied, deciding it was time to get Tom out of there as soon as possible.

"Oh, haha, clever Alex. Did his father make shitty puns like that as well?" Tom asked as Alex pushed him roughly to the door urging the teen to go ahead.

"Bye Yassy! Send me a friend request on Face book! We can like each other's selfies!" Tom exclaimed with a wave before exiting the building to wait out front for his friend.

Alex turned to the assassin who was muttering in annoyed Russian as the spikey haired teen vanished from his sight.

"Yassen...I...Thank you." Was all Alex could manage to say. If this worked, if Alan Blunt actually left him alone...Alex almost was afraid to feel the relief that was spreading through him for fear it would be taken away.

"Do not thank me, Alex. As I said I had a hand in this. Just do your parents proud."

"I will." Alex vowed.

"Run along then, little Alex. You're friend is waiting for you."

And that was it. Alex sighed in relief as he walked out of the MI6's building for what he hoped would be the last time in his life. He walked up to Tom and smiled.

"Let's go home, Tom."

"You think Yassen will really send me that friend request?"

 **A/n- This would in no way ever happen but this is what my brain has come up with. Ridiculous one shot. Hoping to help clear some writer's block? Guess we'll see I suppose. I don't really write crack fics but I suppose this is the closest I will ever come. I don't know I was obviously proud of this little one shot for some reason since I posted it on here. Let me know if it made you chuckle!**


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